Wedding Planning: Things that came as a surpise...

Since I started my blog after getting married I won’t have regular “Wedding Wednesday’s” or updates about how the process is going, but, since a lot of my friends are getting married this year you will find a few posts now and then about their weddings and maybe memories of my own.

Of my main group of girlfriends, both in California and Chicago, I would consider myself to have been one of the earlier ones to get married. I had a few girlfriends who got married prior to me and were so gracious to offer up any advice/support or anything else I may need. I didn’t find myself reaching out too much as I had always been one of those girls who had planned The Big Day from a young age. I thought planning a wedding was going to be a piece of cake. Wrong. Throughout our year-long engagement and wedding planning process I have learned so much. Now, hopefully, I will not have to put what I learned to use for myself ever again, but I thought it might be nice to share for other brides. It’s just advice and observations based on my own accounts so you can take it or leave it!

 

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Unfortunately I did not do my due diligence in choosing a wedding planner. I was so caught up in the wedding bliss and making my first decision as a bride that I failed to really take into account how important the interview process really is. We found a wedding planner that had 5 stars on yelp and great reviews. However, she turned out terrible and I am convinced that all those reviews are her friends. Never once did we feel important to her and she made us feel like our wedding dreams were unattainable. 3 months in – we fired her. Luckily we found a WONDERFUL wedding planner who made every dream come true and beyond. Never once did she make us feel like we couldn’t have something. At the end of our wedding I not only had a great wedding planner but I had a new friend.

Advice: Interview more than one wedding planner, call their references, and ask a ton of questions!!!

 

I always knew I wanted a fall wedding. Originally (like when I was a teenager) I always dreamt of the typical fall colors – browns, greens, burnt orange. I had the vision totally set up in my mind. When we got engaged I suddenly realized that the colors I chose were not only going to shape the entire wedding but once I chose them and started moving forward – there was no going back. The sense of permanence freaked me out. I went all over the place on color palates. If you ask my sister in law’s they’d tell you that every week I was set on a new color scheme. Eventually I had it narrowed down to two and they were completely different from my original thought

Advice: You may think you know what you want until that ring gets placed on your finger. Don’t freak out if the direction of our colors ends up being different. And don’t be afraid to explore color palates that aren’t necessarily considered “in season” as you can always make it seasonal with texture.

 

My husband and I rarely fight. Sure we get in arguments but they are never much more than just needing to be talked out (I mean usually I cry but that just because I am a girl). However, during the wedding process we fought more in the final 6 months of wedding planning then we had in our entire relationship. Most of the time it was me getting too wrapped up in wedding planning that I would forget to include him somehow. However, sometimes grooms can be difficult in what they want or don’t want to be involved in. One week it feels like they want to be involved in everything but then when you start getting into design and details they don’t. It can get confusing and miscommunications will happen. Men often can’t understand that this day is all we have thought about for years and now we are getting to live it. On the flip side we women forget that up until that ring was on our finger, they never thought about their wedding day.

Advice: Do whatever you can to keep communication lines flowing and set up parameters of what he wants to be involved in or not. 

 

In light of “things that test your relationship” ask anyone who planned a wedding and they will probably tell you that the seating chart is the worst part!!! It’s the worst for a couple reasons. For most of the planning process it’s all about what the bride and groom want (well ok, what the bride wants) but when you get to seating family members chime in. Everyone has different family and friend dynamics. This is the time when people will say “so and so can’t sit but so and so because of this and that” You want to make everyone happy but at the same time you might rip your eyes out if rearrange the seating one more time. You and your groom will also have spats about how the tables should be arranged…Do you mix the two families at each table? Do you put one family on one side of the room and the other family on the opposite side?

Advice: Just get through it…you’re almost there.

 

This one came as a shock to me. It may not happen for you, but for me, around 1 month to go I was sick of being a bride and was ready to be wife. For anyone who knows be really well knows that I have always loved being the center of attention, in the limelight etc. For the first 10 months it was awesome. Being a bride includes people always asking how the planning is going which allows you to boast about how excited you are and divulge as much or as little about the details. Parties are thrown for you left and right and you are often the topic of conversation. That is all fine and dandy..until it just becomes tiresome. I was literally tired of talking about my wedding (imagine that). I was tired of being the center of attention and was ready for the real thing..a marriage. Now, that’s not to say that once you tie the knot everyone suddenly couldn’t care less about you – but the attention definitely fades away…aaaahhh – back to normal.

 

 

xoxo

C&R